I woke up at 8:20 am. Class is at 8:40. I thought about just skipping but I haven't missed any classes this semester so I dragged myself to it...and it was cancelled! Whoot whoot. One of the girls was their complaining about this fact. Um chick class being cancelled is never ever a bad thing! I still have my psychology of gender class to go to, but after that I'm done :)

Next week will be busy. I have lab to do for my physiology class, volunteering at the RMH, staff meeting for the paper, plus whatever events I have to go to for the articles I'll be writing. And of course just regular classes. I also need to try to find someone that is going back to my hometown for thanksgiving since my mom is dead set on me coming down this year.

Mondays, I love them

I've been very productive today. Had my morning class and after went straight to the gym. There was a girl there who wasn't wearing a good bra and her poor boobs were getting flung here there and EVERYWHERE. Ha, a guy walked in and just stared for a good 5 seconds before looking away. I can't blame him, I'm straight and even I was distracted by her boobs.
After the gym I went to pick up my package (I ordered a poster of "starry night"). I got a very nice surprise from my friend Britt, she sent the nicest card I think I've ever gotten. She is so sweet!
After that I turned in my application to the school newspaper and got the job! Ha they must be desperate!! But I'm pleased :)
Just got done turning in my reference page for my thesis class, now I'm going to go RELAX. :)

don't fuck up again

Its very late, or very late depending on your point of view and I am wide awake. 

I had a rough day, well or at least the last half was rough. The first half went quite well. I had a meeting with my adviser and we worked it out that I can graduate next spring! I need to really work, but I can do it!

I just need to get my e.d. under control....its going to be difficult. I sure wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it go away. Dang that would be nice, but since we don't live in a magical world I suppose I will have to do the hard work to recover. Getting my degree is definitely worth it, I need to keep my goal in mind. This year is very important, I can not screw up.

body envy.

Sitting in class, I have skinny minnies, to the left, to the right and behind me. I am way to envious of them. They seem so much more confident in their teeny skinny bodies than I will ever be in my giant one. I feel too big for the chairs. I can hear it squeak, I am sure that its about to give out. I wonder if I should replace it with a new chair, one that might be better made to handle my largeness. I think about how odd that would look, me getting up and grabbing a new chair and my shyness keeps me from doing it. I send a little prayer up to heaven that the chair will hold me until the end of class, that my thighs will stop spilling out over the sides, that I will MAGICALLY, be made tinier, smarter, prettier, nicer, better. 

I keep obsessively checking my phone but no one wants to hang out.

This video made me laugh so hard. Just watch it, you won't be disappointed!

***

I dragged myself to class this morning, although I was really tempted to just stay in bed. But with summer session missing one class is like missing a whole week of classes, so me sleeping in really would bite me in the ass. I did treat myself to a coffee though, a raspberry mocha, so yummy!  That almost made up for how painfully dull class was today.  

I really have nothing to write about, mostly I'm putting off going to the grocery store to get something to eat. Ugh food is not my friend today.

Fact: I am running on 75 % coffee, 10 % anxiety and 15 % bullshit.

I've been putting off writing the letter to get back on financial aid. I have no idea what I should put in it. Obviously I am not going to tell them the whole truth, but how can I write the letter without actually stating the problem.

I can't put it off though. I need to get going on it, and all the other steps I need to complete to stay in school. I'm not entirely sure that I even want to be at this particular university anymore, but I don't have much longer to go, so I suppose I can suck it up and finish.