Lately I been relapsing into old eating disorder behaviors. I realize that nothing good will come from this but I find it hard to care. I feel as if since I don't matter, it doesn't matter. Of course the more I restrict the stronger these worthless feeling become.
I have no direction in my life, just feel like everything I've tried to do I've failed at. Even losing weight, I never got down to the weight I wanted. It's frustrating, I'm so worthless even at the one thing that you'd think I'd be semi-good at.
I wish that I had made different choices in my life, taken a different road. I feel as if these last couple years all I've done is fuck up, consistently.
- I love my family like crazy, although we're a bit nutty I think we are more functional than most familes I've met. I like to blog and often am trying to figure out what site is best, so far I've settled on blogger. I love cats and very very well behaved dogs (but there really aren't that many around are there?) Diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I am trying not to let it define me.