About Me

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I love my family like crazy, although we're a bit nutty I think we are more functional than most familes I've met. I like to blog and often am trying to figure out what site is best, so far I've settled on blogger. I love cats and very very well behaved dogs (but there really aren't that many around are there?) Diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I am trying not to let it define me.

Monday, November 7, 2011

What am I doing with my life?

Well fucking it up. I cannot seem to get over this eating disorder. I don't even know if I want to. Isn't that stupid? But it's just easier, this kind of self harm, rather than the kind I veer towards when I don't fast/restrict/purge.

I think when I'm trying to eat normally my anxiety goes up and I have no coping mechanisms so my suicidal thoughts go up and my reckless behavior goes up as well. At least with my eating disorder behaviors I feel somewhat safe, even though, yes I realize it's a lie. But it's one I think I'll keep for now.

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