About Me

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I love my family like crazy, although we're a bit nutty I think we are more functional than most familes I've met. I like to blog and often am trying to figure out what site is best, so far I've settled on blogger. I love cats and very very well behaved dogs (but there really aren't that many around are there?) Diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I am trying not to let it define me.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Am I capable of changing?

I dislike the person I have let myself become.
Lazy. Self-destructive. Cynical.
I want to change. I want to become someone to be proud of.
Let the eating disorder go. Let the self-hate go.
I want to be more than this, this thing who measures worth out it calories.
To do this, to become someone capable of loving life, of being loved: I need to be strong.
I want to make my family proud. I want them to be able to look at me and not feel pity.
Life should be more than this mental struggle.
I know that somewhere inside of me is the will to do things right. Its not enough to wish for things to change, I have to actively pursue it.

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