I think that I have gained so much weight that you all can feel the earth tremor as I walk. I will hand out hard hats to anyone who needs them, because the falling debris can be dangerous. I hate hate hate how I look right now. Well I always hate how I look, but lately it's even worse. I am so very tired of looking at myself and seeing a fat piece of crud. I know that this is the eating disorder messing with my head but honestly it feels so true that it's hard for me to separate the reality from the ed.