Lately I been relapsing into old eating disorder behaviors. I realize that nothing good will come from this but I find it hard to care. I feel as if since I don't matter, it doesn't matter. Of course the more I restrict the stronger these worthless feeling become.
I have no direction in my life, just feel like everything I've tried to do I've failed at. Even losing weight, I never got down to the weight I wanted. It's frustrating, I'm so worthless even at the one thing that you'd think I'd be semi-good at.
I wish that I had made different choices in my life, taken a different road. I feel as if these last couple years all I've done is fuck up, consistently.
About Me
- mlw
- I love my family like crazy, although we're a bit nutty I think we are more functional than most familes I've met. I like to blog and often am trying to figure out what site is best, so far I've settled on blogger. I love cats and very very well behaved dogs (but there really aren't that many around are there?) Diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I am trying not to let it define me.
I hate to be bold here. But you need to stop hating yourself so much. We all mess up. You need get it together and try again. If you think everyone else has had a life of roses, you're wrong. Get help, stop harming yourself and stop feeling sorry for yourself. The only one who can change the course of your life is you. You are not your eating disorder. I don't even personally know you and I care that you are struggling. So I KNOW the people in your life care.
ReplyDeleteThe world can be a mean place sometimes and make you feel like shit but only YOU can change this. We've all took the wrong pathway once in our lives. But, if we didn't we wouldn't have learnt from it. You need to stay strong and believe in yourself as a person. And your not worthless at all! We all have a talent you just need to find out what yours is and embrace it. Stop hurting and punishing yourself because no matter what your family loves you.
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