eating disorders suck

• I buy clothes that are too big because I am sure they will fit me
• I lie to get out of meals
• I take too many sleeping pills because I’m sure that because of my size I require more
• I panic trying on clothes
• I purge into the trash because I don’t want people to hear me in the bathroom
• I over exercise
• I starve
• I put food into safe/unsafe, easy to purge/hard to purge categories
• I wish I was thin
• I’m exhausted all the time
• I dream about eating, then wake up panicking until I realize it was just a dream
• I take laxatives
• I swear I won’t purge again, but then do it all over the next time i eat
• I worry about gaining weight
• I hate my body
• I’m on anti-depressants
• I’m in therapy
• I am unlovable
• I am a bad role model to the kids in my family
• I have lost friends because of my e.d.
• I live off coffee and gum
• I want to be perfect
• I’ve went a week without eating
• I have broken all of my rules
• I wish I had never started this
• I cannot stand being touched, I feel like they will judge how fat I am
• I look at pictures of extremely emaciated women and am both horrified and envious of them
• I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy
• I once clogged the dorm showers because I was purging
• I feel lonely all of the time
• I don’t know if I’m worth saving
• I weigh myself at least 4 times a day
• I wish my mother would acknowledge that this e.d. is real
• I wish people would stop lecturing me
• I  sometimes wish I would just die to get out of this cycle.