I don't know if its going to work out.

I can understand why cutters cut. I get this feeling of wanting to harm myself. I don't self-injure as far as cutting goes. I suppose I should be glad I never went down that road but I'm almost regretful at times. Sometimes I'll I want to do is take everything out on myself.  I just know, and not in a whiny emo way, but in a deep down fuck it way that some people aren't worth it. I know I'm not supposed to say that. I'm supposed to say that recovering makes me feel great. But really I feel like all I've done is gain weight that brings attention to how disgusting I am. Of course if I were just a better person, nicer, smarter, etc etc I could weigh any weight and still be ok.